WTF of the Week

So, I go home for the holidays, and all I hear about is this Goddam game called Apples to Apples. Now, the last thing I want to do is give this game, or this company, any sort of free advertising. However, I feel compelled to get this message out to my public, in fear that some of you may encounter similar situations. My mother could not stop raving about this game. Then I had to hear it from my Aunt. Then I had to hear it over Christmas dinner from another friend of he family. So, of course, after this game getting completely emblazoned into my mind - the first thing I did when I returned - I bought the game. Now, my wife and I are major major major game players. Our competitiveness is clearly our curse, as we have both lost countless friends due to heated exchanges over board games. Pathetic, I know, but the truth none the less. Just dying to break out this game, we set up a gamenight, and told our friends coming it would just be the greatest friggin experience in their lives. We went on and on, about our family members going on and on about this game. I could not wait. All of a sudden I was 6 years old again, and just saw that Santa Claus ate his friggin cookie. Seriously, my level of excitement to break this puppy out was completely off the charts.

The moment arrived, the doorbell rang, and I could not wait to get this shit started. I cut all that small talk bs out, and lead everyone to our dining room table. Cracked open the game, and dug in for the directions. The directions turned out to be about one paragraph long, and already the letters WTF began circling in my head. One person is the judge for the round...people select a card that they believe corresponds to the judges card...judge select card they like best to correspond...game over. Shoot me in the face. Clearly we were missing something, like I chose the wrong version of the game or something. We played a few rounds, it still sucked, and I proceeded to collect my guest's game cards, placed everything back in the box, and walked outside to my trash cans. I threw the gamebox so goddam hard into the trash can that the green and read cards came flying back out at me - like one last FU in my face. My mother was lucky for the time difference, cuz I wanted to give her a phone call as well. Bottom line, that game was the biggest piece of shit I have ever come across, and I hope this post will save some of you from the hype and propaganda.